Why I Hate Chickens

-They cluck for no good reason.
-They make loud clicking noises when they groom their feathers.
-People keep giving them to us--we're on Clucky 3.
-They have to put their heads up to swallow. Intelligent design, my ass.
-They poop everywhere.
-They're dumb. Studies using chickens as subjects require hundreds of trials before they learn anything.
-They eat everything, including chicken meat and their own poop.
-They nibble our flowers.
-They shrilly crow all the damn time, not just in the morning--that would require intelligence.
-They can't even fly well. Useless.
-They're ugly. And they smell bad.
-Every night the chicken clumsily flies into a tree to sleep and usually falls out at least once.
-The chicken thinks he's smarter than me--eyeing me while sneaking over to the flowers in plain sight.
-Their eyelids go up. Freaky.
-They evolved from dinosaurs but they suck.
-They're hard to catch.
-They are pretty tasty, though.